How can you tell if you're friends are real friends? Do friends usually give positive or negative advises when you're in trouble or do they give you options to analyze your own problems and you decide for yourself? Well, most of the time it's a common reaction of us, that, when we are in our down moments, aving problems with our personal life, we tend to seek advices from our friends which we think the best way to do because they will understand our situation. But do you think it will really help you solve your problems? Some thoughts to ponder, ....thoughts which I almost have the same in mind:
When we have problems within our relationships, we tend to go to our friends with the problem and ask for advice. Its great to have friends and go to them for advice but it doesn't mean we must take the advice all the time. Most of the time our friends will have our best interest at heart, the problem is, they are not in your relationship. We can all have a moan about our relationship and if we moan too much, on the outside, it will appear that we have a very unhappy relationship when this may not really be the case.
Behind close doors we all have much different relationships to what our friends may see. The problem is, if you go to your friends with all your relationship problems, then they may judge it wrong. Not meaning to, but they can only go by what you tell them. Most of the time, we can paint a picture worse than what it is because we are angry at the time. No one sees what really goes on behind those closed doors apart from you and your partner.
I know in the past I must have given some really bad advice in my teenage years as I was very anti men. I believed all men were useless and just out for what they could get. Most of my advice was quite negative. It was very hard for me to see the good in men. So in future when you do go to a friend for advice, look at the state of their relationship first, or see what their views on men/wowen are first. No one is perfect, there is going to be ups and downs in all relationships.
Just because you have had an argument about money or the children, or the partner is acting strange or weird, there is no need for you to go running to a friend with all the information. Don't always go moaning to your friend. You may be really happy with your partner, but with all the moaning and complaining to your Friends it does not come across that way, so the advice could be negative, which will not help your relationship indoors.
Moan at him/her instead, until you feel better about the situation. Of course as women we will speak about our relationships. what I am saying is don't share your whole relationship with your friends, its none of their business really. If you do tend to share things with your friends, make sure its the good things too. This way you can attract more goodness into your relationship.
When I was a child, I always wanted to be an astronaut. I was always fascinated about our universe, I'm curious what it is made of, how it is like to be in the outer space, and how it is just there, being there outside and just simply looking the other heavenly bodies which comprise our solar system. The first time I learned this from school, especially our solar system, I said to myself, I want to fly to Mars. I want to see this red planet, which is almost a twin of our planet Earth. This amazes me all the time. I don't know why, this seems to be my favorite planet of all the planets.
I even told my parents that when I graduate from high school, I wanted to study astronomy, and I want to become an astronaut. My parents asked me why this kind of field and I told them because I want to go to Mars and to the Moon. I can vividly remember the reaction of my mom when she heard me saying this. She told me that once I go there, I might not be able to come back and if I can come back, there is a possibility that I might loose my hair and I will be nuts because of the side effects of the radiation. I was sad when I heard this, not because it sounded scary but because I know that my parents can't afford to send me to school to study this kind of field. That dream being an astronaut, remained a dream. But I'm still hoping that someday, I could still go to Mars and to the Moon.
Last February 24th, me and myLove had the opportunity to meet one of the best astronauts who had been to the moon (Apollo 14,1971) He was the one who had the longest walk on the moon - Dr. Edgar Dean Mitchell. It was such a pleasure meeting an astronaut in real life. MyLove organized this for us and I was very happy because if I can't go to Mars and to the Moon or to the outer space, at least I had the chance to meet one of the astronauts who have been part of the Apollo Mission. We were very happy because the director of the Verkehrshaus accomodated us to take pictures together with the Dr. Edgar Dean Mitchell. (see photo left)
I think, although I can't be part of NASA, we had the chance to meet him and even shake hands with him personally. It was really an honor ;-) To you Dr. Edgar Mitchell, thank you very much for your time. We wish you all the best and good health. That night will be remembered and cherished forever.
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?" Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.
Every relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies.
Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that ___expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of every relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the ___expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable...you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision".. . not just a feeling.
Food for thought and in the words of Fr. Pedro Arrupe, SJ
In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away.
Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose. I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance. How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it’s just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.....
Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.
So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is the biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life. If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us.
But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens...Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it’s not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn’t matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away."
It‘s already
mid December, the year has flown so fast. Christmas is nearly here so we
thought we would drop by, say hello and tell you what we have been up to. This
year has been amazingly busy, but great. As usual we started our year by having
dinner in one of our favorite restaurants „GUTSCH“ - we were spoiled here again
not only by their excellent service but also by their delicious cuisine and different
sweet surprises :-) We even had to go back here a month after as a birthday
present for Gerald. Tintin turned 30 this year and we were happy to throw a
party for our friends. Thanks to Kuya Karl & Karin who helped us. Without
them, we wouldn’t have been able to make it.
Middle of
the year, we visited Gruyeré again but this time, we went together with nanay
Heidi and enjoyed Raclette and the scenery of the French part of Switzerland - in
spite of the rain. It‘s always nice spending time together with family and we
always treasure every moment of it. Although taking holidays this year was
quite difficult because Tintin started a new on-the-job-training at ewz, we
were still happy that we were able to make it to Vienna
and Hawai’i.
We enjoyed
it in Vienna even
the weather was nasty. Aunt Brigitte picked us up at the train station. Yes, we
did take the train this time. The connection wasn‘t as bad as we thought. In Vienna we did a lot of
things like: strolling around at most of the attraction places, eating
Apfelstrudel and Wienerschnitzel, ice cream, listening to jazz and drinking
together with Aunt Brigitte at Miles. We also went to watch the musical
Josephine (Baker), a surprise gift from Gerald. We even met our friends Joy
& Paul, who drove us across the Hungarian boarder, showed us the other side
of the Neusidler See and took us for a Hungarian dinner.
After this
trip, Gerald couldn‘t wait to do his aerobatic flight, one of his birthday
presents. Thanks to our friends Ben & Andreas, who helped Tintin organize
this event. Gerald was so excited to fly with the Bucker Jungmann with Andreas
- our pilot friend. Tintin was also happy to do her 10 minute fly over the Lake Pfäffikon.
After the thrill flight, Andreas & Katharina invited us for a barbeque at
their place. That was a great day – thank you guys.
A few days
later, we booked our flight to Hawai’i.
This trip was one of the highlights of the year. We experienced different
cultures and even had the chance to see San Diego
and Los Angeles
for a short time. Hawai’i
is such a beautiful place and we still have tears in our eyes every time we
think of our time there. The feeling is just indescribable. During our stay in Oahu we met some new friends - Rebecca & Mark - who
invited us for a glider flight. That was the best ever! Thanks to you guys.
Thanks also to Tea & Steve - without them we couldn‘t have made it to Hawai’i and also to Joan & Mike for letting us stay
at their place in San Diego.
Kuya Karl
& Karin welcomed us back heartily and finally we did our hiking to Mt. Rickhubel
- 1943 meters above sea level. It was nice to experience nature again :-) Later
this year, Tintin went to Paris to enjoy Eiffel Tower
and Seine River
while Gerald went to Thailand
for “guys-only-holidays” with his friend Ben and their pilot friend Hans. This
year, we also attended some concerts like Colbie Cailat & Pirelli Lagrene
in KKL. We were also happy to witness the vow of Pippa & Stef - thanks for
having us in your wedding.
We can‘t
wait to celebrate Christmas with our family, as we sing Christmas songs, light
candles and enjoy this season together. Before the year ends, we will also
attend a mass as part of our traditional routine – and we are looking forward
to having dinner at Hotel Montana as we start 2010.
Now it‘s
time for us to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Enjoy the
festive season and have a safe, happy and peaceful 2010.
